April 5th, Two Years Later
A reflection on faith, healing, and who I’ve become since the diagnosis.
April 5th will always mean something to me.
Two years ago, it was the day I heard the words that changed my life. You have breast cancer. I can still remember where I was mentally and emotionally in that moment. Everything slowed down, but at the same time, everything felt like it was moving too fast. I did not have answers. I did not have a plan. I just had to face what was in front of me.
Today, April 5th feels different.
I am not reliving that moment the same way I did before. I am not sitting in the fear of it. I am sitting in what God has done since then.
There is a quiet gratitude in me today. Not loud. Not emotional in a heavy way. Just steady. Grounded. Real.
Because I know what I have come through.
When I think back to that version of me, I see a woman who was trying to hold herself together while stepping into something she did not understand. I was praying, processing, and pushing forward all at the same time. Some days felt strong, and some days did not. But I kept going. That is what I remember the most. I kept going.
And now, two years later, I can see what I could not see then.
I can see how God carried me.
I can see how strength showed up when I needed it.
I can see how much has changed in me, not just around me.
This journey did something deeper than I expected.
It slowed me down in ways I probably would not have chosen. It made me more aware of my life, my body, my time, and what truly matters. It shifted my perspective. Some things I used to stress over do not hold the same weight anymore. Some things I overlooked before, I pay attention to now.
I do not move the same.
I do not think the same.
And I definitely do not see myself the same.
There is a level of gratitude I carry now that I cannot explain unless you have walked through something that makes you realize how fragile life really is. Waking up feels different. Being present feels different. Even the way I connect with people feels different.
And one thing I know for sure, I do not want to live my life pretending.
This journey strengthened my voice in a way I did not expect. It made me more honest with myself. It made me more aware of how important it is to live in truth, not just say the right things. It made me even more committed to showing up as I am, not as what is comfortable for everyone else.
That matters to me now in a deeper way.
April 5th is no longer just the day I was diagnosed.
It is the day that reminds me how far I have come.
It is the day that reminds me of God’s faithfulness.
It is the day that reminds me that I am still here.
And I do not take that lightly.
I am still healing.
I am still growing.
But I am also living. Fully aware. Fully present. And thankful.
If you are in a place right now where life has shifted in a way you did not expect, I understand more than I ever did before. I know what it feels like to not have all the answers and still have to move forward. I know what it feels like to trust God in a way that is not just words, but necessary.
And I also know this.
God will meet you there.
Not always in the way you expect, but in the way you need.
Today, I am simply taking a moment to acknowledge this day.
To honor what I have walked through.
To thank God for carrying me.
And to recognize the woman I am still becoming.
Two years later, I am still standing.
And that means everything.
Encouraging Nuggets
Give yourself credit for what you have made it through.
You do not have to have it all figured out to keep moving forward.
Healing can be quiet and still be powerful.
God’s presence does not leave in difficult seasons.
Where you are right now is not the end of your story.
Scriptures
Isaiah 41:10
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
Psalm 30:2
O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.