Mary or Martha? When Doing Good Keeps Us From Choosing What’s Best
Learning the wisdom of presence in a world addicted to busyness
Introduction
Most of us know the story.
Jesus comes to visit.
One sister is busy preparing.
The other sits still.
At first glance, it feels obvious who is doing the right thing. Someone has to cook. Someone has to prepare. Someone has to make sure everything is done well.
But Scripture has a way of challenging what feels obvious.
This story is not about laziness versus responsibility.
It is not about work versus worship.
It is about discernment.
It asks a quiet but confronting question:
When Jesus shows up, what do you prioritize?
The Martha in Us
Martha gets a bad reputation, but she should not.
She opened her home.
She took responsibility.
She served with intention.
Martha represents many of us who lead, carry weight, manage households, ministries, businesses, and families. She is dependable. She is capable. She gets things done.
But Scripture says Martha was distracted.
Not distracted by sin.
Not distracted by foolishness.
Distracted by much serving.
Luke 10:40 says she was worried and upset about many things.
That word matters.
Martha was not wrong for serving.
She was overwhelmed because she felt responsible for everything.
Her busyness created pressure.
Pressure turned into frustration.
Frustration turned into comparison.
She looked at Mary and thought,
Why am I carrying this alone?
That is often where burnout begins.
The Mary in Us
Mary chose something different.
She sat at Jesus’ feet and listened.
In that culture, sitting at a rabbi’s feet was the posture of a disciple. Mary was not being passive. She was being intentional.
She recognized that this moment would not last forever.
That the presence of Jesus mattered more than the presentation of the house.
That His voice mattered more than the to do list.
Mary understood something Martha missed.
There are moments when productivity can wait, but presence cannot.
Jesus said Mary chose the better portion.
Not the easier portion.
Not the popular portion.
The better one.
What Jesus Was Really Teaching
Jesus did not shame Martha.
He invited her into clarity.
Luke 10:41–42 says,
“You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.”
This was not a correction of her character.
It was a redirection of her focus.
Jesus was teaching that busyness does not equal faithfulness.
That service without presence can drain us.
That doing good things can still pull us away from the main thing.
The issue was not Martha’s hands.
It was her heart posture in the moment.
Are You a Mary or a Martha Right Now?
This is not a personality test.
It is a heart check.
There are seasons when we must be Martha.
Work must be done. Responsibility matters. Service is necessary.
But there are also moments when wisdom calls us to be Mary.
Moments when stillness is obedience.
Moments when listening matters more than fixing.
Moments when sitting at His feet is the most productive thing we can do.
The danger is not being Martha.
The danger is never knowing when to stop being her.
Insights for Empowerment
• Busyness can feel faithful while quietly pulling us away from presence.
• Resentment often reveals overload, not disobedience.
• Stillness is not laziness. It is discernment.
• Wisdom knows when to serve and when to sit.
• God values attentiveness more than performance.
Encouraging Nuggets
You do not have to earn God’s presence.
You do not have to prove your worth through productivity.
You are allowed to pause when He invites you to listen.
Sometimes the most spiritual decision you can make is to stop moving and sit still.
Scripture References
Luke 10:38–42
Psalm 46:10
Proverbs 4:7
Matthew 11:28–29
Conclusion
The question is not whether you are a Mary or a Martha.
The real question is this:
Do you know which one this season requires?
Wisdom is not choosing one forever.
Wisdom is knowing when presence matters more than productivity.
And when the Master shows up,
may we recognize the moment
and choose what cannot be taken away.
Awesome!
Deb, this is very good.